Learning from Life

January 7 · 0 comments

Before I begin anything, I want to make a confession. First off, I’m not the best mom in the world, though I strive for the best in life for my kids. Second off, I’m not perfect. I struggle with keeping my marbles together and I often times still handle life like a kid: I want things my way or down the road you/we go. Third, I’m still learning about being a wife and being a mom. I don’t have a ton of experience, but I’m learning through others who have been there & done that or just survived it with fresh battle wounds or if you’re lucky like me and have a cousin with a child only a month older than your kid, you get to share & compare current phases.

While staking out my son’s room to make sure he stayed in bed, I started mulling over thoughts about this blog and some comments from friends and Dakota shot through my head. I came across this realization that I’ve made Café du Mom more of a diary of sorts than actually helping people which is what I had originally wanted. Then it hit me. What has this blog turned into and what do I want to accomplish with it? I still want to help people, particularly families stuck in situations similar to mine. How am I helping them if I’m just whining and complaining and sharing my drama all over the internet? I mean you can learn what NOT to do, but I’m not really helping. I’m pretty sure my about page already said all of this, but I think I lost sight of that and I am terribly apologetic and I am fixing it pronto. I’m resolved to helping to the best of my ability. I’m going to look at life as a learning experience and share with you what I come across and some suggestions to get through it in one piece.

To prove it to you, I have a very recent experiences to share.

As stated above, I had to stake out Chance’s room. We’ve put him to bed at least 3 times already. We’ve compromised and we did some discipline in the hopes that he would see we were serious. I had Evelyn in her high chair eating muffins when my spidey senses went off. I made my way into the room, left the door open enough so I could use the light from the bathroom to help me see, and settled in. I prefer a meditative position with my legs crossed, hunched over with my head resting on my arms. It’s comfortable and I can close my eyes and focus on every sound around me. I becoming familiar with my breathing, the sounds of Evelyn babbling in the kitchen, the scuffling of his covers. Within 5 minutes I heard movement. Chance went to bed with a train and it was making it’s way to his door in the hands of a very persistent toddler scooting on his hiney. I told myself, he’s only in trouble if he walks out of his room. The train was right at the door. The moment of truth. ::squeak:: The door was open and out he came. “Chance, you know you’re gunna get a spankin’ now right?” I’m not sure I scared him because I couldn’t see his face, but from the sound of his footsteps he was searching for me until I stood up. Then he decided to act like he was getting in my bed to sleep. “Oh, no. Get back in your room and get in bed.” I follow, give him the discipline accordingly, and I tell him I’m going to take the choo-choo next time which reminded me that I told him last time I was going to take his keys. I informed him I was taking them and he had a cow as I set them down out of reach and walked out of his room. He was crying & rather loudly so I walked to our bedroom door and shut it so as to not wake Mr. B sleeping in the next room. As quiet as a mouse I got back into position. He got quiet. It was a bit longer than last time, but sure enough I hear the train which means he’s out of bed. Again, he’s only in trouble if he leaves his room. The train gets louder & then I hold my breath for the moment of truth…. nothing. It quits, so I wait in position. One minute turns into 5 which turns into 10. He’s asleep. I double check by making noise as I stand up and wait for some moment of recognizing I’m in the room. The scurry back to bed, but I don’t hear anything. I open the door to signal my “entrance” and still nothing.

Mission accomplished.

On to putting child number 2 in bed.

I learned from the stake-out that it was a good time to relax and think and do some yoga stretches. Oh, and stake-outs can be worth the time. I know personally when I set my mind on something like winning or something where a reward is short-term I can commit to the long-term. I probably would’ve waited all night for Chance to come out of his room if I thought it was a possibility. Also listening & reacting to your initial instincts pays off. We were gifted with awesome abilities when we carried & birthed our little ones. Why not use them? Warning: don’t make a mind game out of it because if you keep doing it as they grow up it’ll make them paranoid (I’m living proof).

Please note that we did try working with him prior to spanking him. I also let him take a late hour and a half nap. That was my mistake so I was the one choosing to commit to the 1:00am stake-out.

Anyway. What do you do when you toddler won’t stay in bed? Have you ever had to do a stake-out?

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