The Good & Bad of “Stop” and “No”

January 11 · 1 comment

in Family Life, Raising Kids

Lately, the kids have been using these words quite often. I haven’t completely committed to an action, which honestly is probably a bad thing. I just can’t justify every situation. See, in some cases, it’s cute or funny. Like anytime you ask either of the kids a question such as “Do you like your food?” The answer is simply “No” just because you asked a question. Sometimes it’s joined with a bashful smile from Chance or an adamant head shake from Evelyn though they’ve been eating it for the past 10 minutes. You can also keep asking them random questions you know they don’t understand and continue to get the same answer. It’s really funny. On the other hand, they’ve been told to pick up something they just threw their response is No or you tell them to stop hitting the other Evelyn will point her long, skinny pointer at you and say Stop. It’s disrespectful to the adult and something that could develop into a bad habit for later on in life.

Here’s where I’m conflicted though. I view just about everything in two extreme situations. 1) If I don’t discipline them every single time: Flash forward to the future and them telling us No as teenagers without the fear of a disciplinary action. 2) If I rigidly discipline them every single time: Flash forward in another situation where someone is hurting them on purpose & they’ve been taught not to say No or Stop & they get hurt because they feared getting in trouble & getting disciplined if they were to say it.

I can see the compromise is to discipline them when they say No after being told to do something (within their understanding). I’m pretty positive Chance knows what it means, but I don’t think Evelyn is quite there yet. I find it difficult to do the compromise when Evelyn doesn’t understand the difference of when would it be okay to say No to someone. We also believe in equal discipline. If Chance was told to stay out of the cabinets & he gets a spanking, Evelyn will get one too if she were to get into the cabinets. For the record, we don’t have a designated kid-friendly cabinet. Some people do and some don’t. It’s easier to teach them to not get into the cabinets in case someone doesn’t have one then allow them to get into them & get hurt. Anyway, the point is that what we do to Chance we have to be able to do to Evelyn and vice-versa.

With that being said, any suggestions? Did/Are your kids go/ing through this? What did you do?

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Brittany January 11, 2013 at 9:28 am

Maybe start small. When they say ‘no’ counter back ‘no, ma’am, or no, sir’. it’s never too young to teach them this, plus it will have them stop and think which will help with the ‘no’ problem. It’s normal, every kid goes through it. Just stay firm, decide what you are going to let slide and what you are going to get on to them for and stick with it. It’s just a phase. Brayden went through it, but now he says ‘yes, ma’am’, ‘no, ma’am’, etc. you just have to stay on them and work with them =) good luck!

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